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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577357">Those Things Underestimated</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kj_feybarn/pseuds/kj_feybarn'>kj_feybarn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Standing in Favor [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>...I need to write more of those three, But it's a worthy cause, I will die on the Luminara Quinlan Obi-Wan friendship, Loss, Obi-Wan Kenobi's traumatic padawanship, Obi-Wan is going to have to shave his beard after this, Obi-Wan makes for an excellent babysitter, Obi-Wan/Rex is implied, One with the Force, Parents like to drop their babies in Jedi's lap and run off to do their shopping, all warnings applicable for Zyggerian Arc, but coming back to the light is not easy, but that doesn't mean doing it alone, children dying in war, institution of slavery, outside pov, redemption is not easy, slavery (temporary), small one-shots, those three are officially my favorite friendship group, trying his best Obi-Wan, you might Fall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:48:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kj_feybarn/pseuds/kj_feybarn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A few one-shots of Jedi and their compassion</p><p>Chapter 1: Obi-Wan on Melida/Daan - Those he couldn't save</p><p>Chapter 2: Zyggerian Arc from the slavers POV (warning, he's a terrible person)</p><p>Chapter 3: Obi-Wan makes for an excellent babysitter, now would Anakin please stop laughing at him</p><p>Chapter 4: Luminara won't give up on Barriss (+ Luminara's friends are the best)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(IMPLIED), Barriss Offee &amp; Luminara Unduli, CC-2224 | Cody &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luminara Unduli &amp; Quinlan Vos, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Luminara Unduli, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Luminara Unduli &amp; Quinlan Vos, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Quinlan Vos, Obi-Wan Kenobi/CT-7567 | Rex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Standing in Favor [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776442</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>370</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Those You Can't Save</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’d accomplished their objective, Obi-Wan thought, but the victory felt hollow.</p><p>Almost all of their victories felt hollow these days.</p><p>“Obi-Wan, we’ve got to go.” Nield’s voice was quiet, but firm.</p><p>“I know.” He didn’t move from where he knelt, Eris pulled tight into his arms. He’d carried her back this far, to the place their two groups had agreed to reconvene after the raid. This was as far as he could carry her though.</p><p>They didn’t bring bodies back to base.</p><p>“We don’t have the medical supplies.” Nield’s voice was implacable, his jaw set firmly as though he thought that Obi-Wan might argue. And Obi-Wan knew that too. It was the cost of being the leaders, being forced to ration what limited supplies they had for those that stood the best chance.</p><p>Maybe, <em>just maybe</em>, they could save Eris. But the supplies it took to save her meant that they wouldn’t have enough for Jona and Mara, whose chances of survival were higher.</p><p>Obi-Wan understood the choice.</p><p>It didn’t stop it from hurting.</p><p>“Go ahead of me.” Obi-Wan met Nield’s eyes, and saw the flare of understanding there. He was never sure if Nield pitied him, in moments like these, or if he understood. Either way,he never said a word in protest.</p><p>Cerasi, he knew, understood. But Cerasi was back at their base, already planning their next raid.</p><p>“Be careful. Remember, we can’t bring her—” Nield cut off. Because the acknowledgment of the fact that they couldn’t even give Eris a proper burial wasn’t something they needed to bring up while Eris was still breathing.</p><p>Nield gave Obi-Wan a final nod, before he gestured for the other survivors to follow him. It was risky, staying above ground any longer than they needed to.</p><p>Eris was dying, they couldn’t risk that the rest of them died with her just to ease her passing.</p><p>The rest of the group filed away quickly, shifting into the shadows to hide their movements as they made their retreat.</p><p>“We did it,” Eris gasped out. There was blood leaking from the corner of her mouth, and Obi-Wan wanted to wash it away.</p><p>He could still remember the way Eris had followed him around the first few days after he’d officially joined the Young. Remembered her awe at his clean robes and tunics, though they hadn’t stayed clean long.</p><p>She’d thought that being clean was a marvel, and Obi-Wan wished that she could have something more than a dust-covered, blood-stained death.</p><p>“We did.” They’d accomplished their objective. They’d taken another Melida weapon cache and stolen enough food to get them through another few weeks if they rationed properly.</p><p>Obi-Wan wished they’d managed to find a med-station, but the Young weren’t the only ones with no medical supplies.</p><p>The war, or at least this newest part of the centuries long war, had gone on so long that no one had enough medical supplies.</p><p>“Do you—” Eris coughed, more blood splattering across too pale cheeks. Obi-Wan held her closer. His gut felt like it was on fire, but he didn’t dare let go of Eris. “Do you think it’ll make a difference?”</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t know. It’d been months now, and they just kept fighting an impossible fight. “Yes. It’ll make a difference.” Obi-Wan would do <em>everything</em> in his power to make sure of it.</p><p>Even if, over the past few months, he’d realized just how little power he truly had.</p><p>The evidence was dying in his arms.</p><p>Seven years old and Obi-Wan couldn’t save her. He couldn’t save anyone.</p><p>“I thought it would hurt.” There was still blood welling from her lips. “Dying. They always said it hurt.”</p><p>Obi-Wan shrugged, trying to smile even though there was nothing to smile about. “How would they know, huh, none of them have ever died.”</p><p>Though they’d certainly seen enough of it that they <em>did</em> know. Obi-Wan could <em>feel</em> the death eating at Eris.</p><p>Eris laughed, seven years old and dying, a laugh on her lips. “That’s true, isn’t it?” Her eyes were growing cloudy. Obi-Wan had seen death steal away the final breaths of so many children, he could recognize when death was close.</p><p>If Obi-Wan were a better Jedi—and it was a title he couldn’t claim, even though he still <em>felt</em> like one, his heart and soul divided between being Young and being Jedi—if he were <em>trained</em>, instead of an almost-washed-out initiate, then he might have been able to save Eris. Might have been able to heal her.</p><p>But all he could do was hold her tight. Hold her tight and take her pain so she wouldn’t have to feel it.</p><p>It was <em>agony</em>. Fire burning at his abdomen, weakness weighing down his limbs.</p><p>“I’m scared.” It was a whispered confession.</p><p>“Don’t be,” Obi-Wan told her. “I’m here. And when you leave me, you’ll be safe in the arms of the Force.”</p><p>Eris’ eyes crinkled. “I don’t know what that means.”</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t know either. “It means warmth and safety. It means no more fighting. It means love.”</p><p>“Peace?”</p><p>Obi-Wan wondered if Eris even knew what that word <em>meant</em>. Even Nield and Cerasi, the oldest of their group, had no <em>real</em> recollections of peace. But Eris, so much younger…</p><p>“Yes.” Obi-Wan nodded. “It means peace.”</p><p>Eris’ eyes were blinking slowly. “I like that.”</p><p>Obi-Wan nodded again, the pain in his gut was fading away. It wasn’t a cause for celebration.</p><p>“Thank you.” Eris met his eyes, and she was so <em>young</em>, but she’d seen so much—too much, and nearly all of it bad—there was quiet knowledge in her eyes.</p><p>“For what?” Because what could Eris possibly want to thank him for; he’d failed her. He could have, <em>should have</em>, been more. Should have been able to protect her better, and when he’d failed at that, he should have been able to save her.</p><p>But he couldn’t.</p><p>“For making it not hurt.” Eris smiled, and she was too old for such a young girl. “For staying with me.”</p><p>Obi-Wan hadn’t realized she’d known, but then, she was young, not a fool. “Til the end.”</p><p>The Force whispered quietly to him; he could feel it gently pulling Eris away.</p><p>“I’ll see you again? In the Force?”</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t think that was how the Force worked, but nor did he know with any certainty that it wasn’t. “Yes. You’ll see me again.”</p><p>The last thing Eris ever did was smile.</p><p>Obi-Wan held her several minutes longer, fighting back desperate tears.</p><p>Finally, minutes after she’d left, Obi-Wan set her body down. He pulled at his tunic, ripping a small strip off the bottom of the already ragged cloth. He wet it a little, a small dab from his canteen, before gently wiping at the blood on Eris’ face.</p><p>There was no time for a proper burial, and the sewers had no place for the growing number of Young casualties. Either the Melida or the Daan would be here soon, and they’d incinerate any corpses they came across.</p><p>Obi-Wan wondered if Eris’ parents, part of the Melida, he remembered Eris telling him, would ever know what had happened to their daughter.</p><p>He wondered if they would even care, or if they would dismiss it as the death of an enemy. If they would <em>rejoice</em> in it, the way they did the deaths of the Daan.</p><p>The thought <em>ached</em>.</p><p>He gently arranged Eris’ limbs, and it could almost look like she was sleeping, if not for the blood that stained the majority of her tunic.</p><p>The Force whispered in warning. People were coming.</p><p>He hoped Eris was at peace within the Force.</p><p>Obi-Wan turned, it was time for him to head back to the sewers, the war for peace was still raging.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. To Break a Jedi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Togruta in front of him stumbled over their feet, shovel half-full of rocks falling from their grip and crashing onto the ground with loud clatter. Trask felt his excitement flair, already reaching for his electro-pike.</p>
<p>This part <em>never</em> got old.</p>
<p>The Togruta was already trembling, aware of what was coming, and Trask would hate to disappoint them.</p>
<p>He stepped forward, jabbing the electro-prod into the small of the Togruta’s back right where he could see another burn mark festering.</p>
<p>The Togruta cried out, convulsing.</p>
<p>Around them the other Torgrutas kept their heads down, wanting nothing more than to slip past his attention, as the</p>
<p>They were broken.</p>
<p>Pain, tedium, fear, lack of purpose. It broke most people so very quickly. And this particular group had been no exception. With the war keeping the Republic in turmoil, and the Jedi far too busy keeping the galaxy from falling apart to keep Zyggeria from doing what they did best.</p>
<p>The galaxy would soon remember what a Zyggerian-broken slave looked like.</p>
<p>Trask’s eyes darted across the room to where their newest product was shoveling rocks.</p>
<p>Oh yes, the galaxy would see.</p>
<p>And they had the prime piece of product to show it off.</p>
<p>There was a misconception that it was hard to break a Jedi. Trask wanted to scoff.</p>
<p>Fools.</p>
<p>From Trask’s vantage point he could watch as another Togruta stumbled and the fool of a Jedi lunged forward to help them.</p>
<p>The warden, Agruss, smiled in a way that made even Trask feel slightly afraid.</p>
<p>The Torgruta scrambled away, sending fearful looks at the Jedi as Agruss sauntered forward with his electro-pike.</p>
<p>Agruss let the Togruta slip away, and Trask could see that Agruss already had a target for the Jedi’s attempt at help.</p>
<p>Trask almost wished he’d been stationed in that quadrant. Oster and Moret obeyed Agruss’ signal and grabbed the clone that shadowed the Jedi’s every footstep, pulling him forward to present his back.</p>
<p>The Jedi pleaded, presenting his own back to take the beating. Agruss paused as though to consider it, and then nodded.</p>
<p>Trask felt himself smile. It was one of Agruss’ favorite ploys.</p>
<p>The Jedi took the beating, and if he reacted, then Trask was too far away to hear or see it. A true shame, there was something sublime about watching those who thought they were strong learn just how <em>weak</em> they were.</p>
<p>The Jedi finished taking his beating, and then Agruss nodded to the two guards holding the clone.</p>
<p>The Jedi, the fool, protested.</p>
<p>One of the Torgruta in Trask’s quadrant stumbled and Trask wasn’t able to watch the clone take the Jedi’s punishment as he was busy applying his own punishment, but he finished up with his own slave-fodder in time to see Agruss throw the clone at the Jedi, the two guards following up by dropping the shovels at their feet.</p>
<p>Trask watched as the two both pushed themselves to their feet, leaning on each other, and his eyes narrowed in on the way their foreheads brushed together.</p>
<p>He dismissed the thought a moment later, it had likely been nothing more than an accidental bumping of heads, and there was a slacking slave that needed Trask’s electro-pike in their back to get them back to speed.</p>
<p>-_-</p>
<p>A week later and Trask could see that the treatment was wearing on the Jedi.</p>
<p>The beatings he took with clenched teeth and fierce eyes, Trask had given a few of those beatings himself, and had disappointed by his inability to force a cry pass the stubborn fool’s lips.</p>
<p>But it was no matter, the pain, after all was secondary. The beatings given to others on the Jedi’s behalf while still taken with grace, were taking a far more significant toll. Trask could see the cracks in the man’s eyes.</p>
<p><em>This</em>. This was how you broke a Jedi.</p>
<p>Sure, the pain was useful as a method to wear him down.</p>
<p>But the true damage was done in forcing him to watch others hurt <em>because</em> of him. Those fools that thought Jedi couldn’t be broken were fools who didn’t understand what a Jedi <em>was</em>.</p>
<p>Jedi were not the strong people that the galaxy had fooled themselves into believing in. They were pitiful creatures, compassionate to their core.</p>
<p>It was such an easily exploitable weakness.</p>
<p>-_-</p>
<p>Trask liked his job, most of the time. But the night shift was his least favorite. Most slaves were far too exhausted to try anything and because of that, there was no one for Trask to keep in line. It was, essentially, boring.</p>
<p>He sighed to himself and started on another patrol through the sleeping slaves.</p>
<p>Halfway through his patrol he caught sight of the Jedi. He’d earned another beating, both for him and one of the Togrutans working alongside him, just before the day had ended, and Trask could see the blood staining the small cot.</p>
<p>Trask stared for a long moment, considering the Jedi.</p>
<p>As though sensing Trask’s eyes, the Jedi struggled awake, and his eyes met those of Trask’s.</p>
<p>The Jedi stiffened a little, before shifting minutely. It took Trask a moment to realize that the Jedi was trying to place himself protectively between Trask and the clone that shared the cot.</p>
<p>Trask bared his teeth in a mocking smile.</p>
<p>As though the Jedi could do anything to protect the clone, or any of the others for that matter, from Trask.</p>
<p>The Jedi just met his eyes evenly.</p>
<p>Trask searched the eyes carefully. He could still see the cracks in the slave’s composure. But he was unsettled to find that, for all that they were doing their best to beat the compassion and strength from the man, it was still shining from the man’s eyes.</p>
<p>Trask snarled again. He wanted to bring his electro-pike to bear on the foolish Jedi. He would too, if he didn’t know that it would annoy Agruss to have to deal with a middle-of-the-night report.</p>
<p>“You’ll break, Jedi. They all do. Your heart makes you weak.”</p>
<p>The Jedi didn’t respond, and Trask left him there to finish his patrol feeling a little unsettled.</p>
<p>-_-</p>
<p>In chains.</p>
<p>Trask wasn’t meant to be the one in chains. He wasn’t like the Torgrutans, he wasn’t <em>weak</em>. The Jedi and his clone were helping the Togrutans make their way outside to where even more of those pathetic clones were waiting to help them, while Trask and his fellow guards were now the ones in chains.</p>
<p>It was only a small comfort to know that the Jedi was far too weak, his heart too soft, to give Trask and the others the same treatment they’d given the Torgrutans.</p>
<p>The last of the Togrutans were making their way out, and the Jedi was speaking with a squad of clones about what should happen to Trask and the others.</p>
<p>Trask bared his teeth, raising his voice just enough to be heard. “You’re <em>weak</em>, Jedi. A week and we almost broke you.”</p>
<p>The Jedi glanced at him seemingly disinterested, but then looked away. But Trask wouldn’t be ignored.</p>
<p>“You were <em>powerless</em>, you’ll always be powerless. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to help anyone. Just like you couldn’t help the Togrutans, you only ever hurt them! What did your compassion ever do, but cause harm?”</p>
<p>The clone whirled, and despite the fact that he was beaten and bruised, weakened from his time as a slave, Trask found himself suddenly afraid. “<em>His</em> compassion is the only reason you’re still alive, scum. If it was up to me and my brothers, you’d all be dead.”</p>
<p>“Rex.” The Jedi’s voice was quiet. “He is not worth your energy.”</p>
<p>The clone just bared his teeth again, letting out a downright terrifying snarl. Trask suspected that this man would rip Trask apart with his bare hands if he was given half the chance.</p>
<p>“Come, Rex. I’m sure Kix would like to see you. I suspect he has a bed with your name on it.”</p>
<p>The clone gave Trask a final glare, before finally turning away. Dismissing Trask as though he was unimportant as he turned back to the Jedi. “Only if you come with, sir.”</p>
<p>The Jedi hesitated at that, but the rest of the clones were quick to assure him that they had everything well in hand.</p>
<p>The sharp smiles they gave Trask made him suddenly wish that the Jedi <em>wouldn’t</em> leave, if it was the Jedi’s presence that kept the clones in line.</p>
<p>Trask watched the Jedi and clone leave. There were bruises and cuts still lining their skin.</p>
<p>Weak.</p>
<p>They were all weak.</p>
<p>But Trask couldn’t help but feel a touch of failure.</p>
<p>Because the two of them <em>were</em> weak. Their hearts tied to their sleeves where anyone could lash out and destroy them.</p>
<p>Yet they hadn’t broken.</p>
<p>Worse, Trask didn’t think they would.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A kid, a lolli, and laughter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obi-Wan would be the very first to say that he is <em>not</em>, in any way, shape, or form, good with children. In fact, he’d go so far as to say that he’s downright awful with them.</p><p>Yet, for some strange reason, the parents of the galaxy seemed unaware of this rather vital piece of information, and worse, were either unwilling or simply unable to understand when he tried to say as much.</p><p>“If you would cease laughing, Anakin.”</p><p>Anakin did not cease laughing.</p><p>Of course, he wasn’t the only one, but Cody and Rex were at least somewhat subtle in the way they were laughing at him. Something Anakin had never quite grasped, and was apparently passing onto his padawan.</p><p>Ahsoka, however, pulled it off far better, even if Obi-Wan thought he’d caught her taking a holo of his predicament between giggles.</p><p>“Sir? What happened?” Cody asked, his voice remarkably steady, given that Obi-Wan could see his shoulders shaking with laughter.</p><p>Obi-Wan glanced down at the current source of everyone else’s amusement.</p><p>The toddler, a young Rodian, looked up at him with wide, near luminous eyes, making his own little burbling noises that Obi-Wan suspected might <em>also </em>be laughter.</p><p>But then, even Obi-Wan could admit that he most certainly looked ridiculous, what with a lolli stuck quite firmly in his beard, courtesy of the toddler in his arms. He had a terrible feeling he might end up having to shave his beard by the time this was all over.</p><p>“A lovely woman has momentarily insisted that I remain indisposed while I watch over her child. But it will be fine, I’m sure.” He made a face at that, and the toddler in his arms laughed again. Clearly Obi-Wan’s grimace was amusing. “At least so long as this little troublemaker’s mother comes back.”</p><p>It was not be the first time a parent had shoved a child into his arms and then completely disappeared. It wasn’t even be the fourth or fifth.</p><p>Obi-Wan scrunched his nose at the toddler, eliciting another giggle. “Now, let’s get this lolli out of my beard, little one, and see if we can’t find something to amuse ourselves with while we wait for your mother to return.”</p><p>He glanced around at the group with him, quickly dismissing Anakin as of no help. It looked like there might be actual <em>tears</em> in his former padawan’s eyes from how hard he was laughing. Ahsoka would likely take more holos, and Obi-Wan did <em>not</em> need those circulating through the Jedi underground where all sorts of embarrassing things were ‘accidentally’ shared.</p><p>“Do you—” Cody coughed to try and mask his laughter, “—need help, sir?”</p><p>Obi-Wan gave his commander and the captain a narrow-eyed look. “Thank you, Cody. But you’ve been going non-stop since…” How long <em>had</em> they been going. “Far too long. You ought to take the time to rest.” He gave Rex a smile. “The same goes for you, Rex.”</p><p>Rex looked startled but he nodded.</p><p>Obi-Wan turned back to Anakin and Ahsoka. “Anakin, do <em>please</em> stop with your laughing, you’re going to hurt yourself.” It would not be the first time. “And Ahsoka, I saw those holos you took.” Ahsoka had the decency to look a little abashed, even if it was clearly feigned. “Just make sure Quinlan doesn’t get any of them.”</p><p>Ahsoka beamed, and Obi-Wan knew he would end up with some very interesting comments on his comm from his friends.</p><p>“You’ve... Got… Lolli…”</p><p>Obi-Wan sighed quietly. “Yes, Anakin, I have a lolli stuck to my face.” It was his own fault really. He’d been able to get a hold of some extra lollis to share with the troopers, and then the troopers had decided to share those same treats with the rest of the provisions that the Republic had finally permitted to be sent to Rodia.</p><p>Obi-Wan looked down at his current charge again. “You won’t grow up to be as silly as Anakin, will you? Oh no you won’t.”</p><p>That earned him more giggles—from both the child and his supposedly mature companions—accompanied by delighted hand-clapping, that from just the child. Oh yes, this child was <em>adorable</em>. It was a shame the child didn’t yet seem old enough to speak, Obi-Wan would have quite liked a name to refer to them by. Something the mother had quite failed to share with him before she’d rushed off to take care of something undoubtedly important.</p><p>He settled the toddler on his hip, pushing his own exhaustion as far as he could. “Right, let’s the two of us go and enjoy a bit of peace, why don’t we?”</p><p>He took the toddler with him to his own tent, the perpetually delighted toddler chattering in something that was pure toddler gibberish.</p><p>He pulled his somewhat raggedy blanket from his cot and settled it on the ground, before setting the toddler on top of it.</p><p>He pulled at the lolli stuck in his beard and grimaced. It’d had time to dry unfortunately, and was <em>quite</em> firmly trapped in his beard. Well then, he’d definitely need to shave after this. He would have to mourn the temporary loss of his beard later.</p><p>But for now he had a toddler to entertain. He looked around the small tent, but he didn’t have a lot that was toddler friendly.</p><p>Well, he <em>did</em> have a lot of datapads. There was always plenty of paperwork, after all. He made sure they were all locked so that they couldn’t be turned off by curious toddler hands, before piling them onto the blanket and taking his whole seat.</p><p>“Let’s see what we can do with these? What do you think?”</p><p>The toddler looked dubious, and the sounds that came out of their mouth were clearly unconvinced, but Obi-Wan had worked with worse.</p><p>He started moving the datapads so that they had a firm building foundation, and the toddler tilted their head in curiosity, before climbing into Obi-Wan’s lap and grabbing their own datapad.</p><p>Obi-Wan smiled.</p><p>His comm went off just as he and the toddler had built a small little house out of the datapads. “General Kenobi here.”</p><p>“General Kenobi.” Boil’s holo stood at attention. “A few of the pirates are causing a bit of trouble. “Demanding to—” Boil cut off.</p><p>“Demanding what, Boil?”</p><p>“Is that a…” Boil was gaping a little bit, but Obi-Wan wasn’t sure whether he was staring at the child on his lap or the lolli still stuck quite firmly in his beard.</p><p>“Either way, the answer is yes,” Obi-Wan answered easily enough. “The mother should hopefully be returning soon. But I’ll make my way to where you are for now in order to help with the pirates.”</p><p>“Hopefully?” Boil repeated, clearly still stuck on the random child.</p><p>Obi-Wan shrugged. “Past experience says it’s fifty-fifty, and I didn’t quite have time to ask before she was hurrying off.”</p><p>“This has happened before?”</p><p>“Oddly often, even for a Jedi.” It was not uncommon for people, those who trusted the Jedi at least, to randomly leave a child with the Jedi. But Obi-Wan had been even more of a magnet for that sort of thing than most of the Jedi he’d known.</p><p>Boil blinked at that before accepting it with incredible aplomb.</p><p>“I will see you soon, Boil.”</p><p>He had barely closed the comm when his comm went off yet again. “General Kenobi here.”</p><p>Cody appeared. “The toddler’s mother has returned, I’m keeping her at the front of camp.”</p><p>Obi-Wan nodded. “Excellent. I will see you at the front of camp.” He shut his comm off and reached down to his toddler companion and picked them up. “It was a pleasure to spend time with you, little one. But it’s time to return you to your mother.”</p><p>The toddler gave him a toothy smile.</p><p>Obi-Wan carried him back through camp, nodding to members of the 501st and the 212<sup>th</sup> that were watching him with wide, curious eyes.</p><p>They made it to the front of camp quickly enough, and the mother took her child back easily. “Thank you, General Jedi, thank you!”</p><p>“Of course.” Obi-Wan smiled. “It was no problem.”</p><p>The woman disappeared almost immediately, and Obi-Wan turned to his Commander who looked tired and bemused. “Did she say why she’d—”</p><p>“She claimed that Jedi never charged babysitting costs and shopping with a toddler was a lot of work.”</p><p>Obi-Wan blinked at that, and then shrugged. “Well, that’s not the worst reason I’ve ever heard.”</p><p>“What is the worst—”</p><p>Obi-Wan shook his head. “Trust me, Cody. If you want to keep your faith in humanity you don’t want to know.” He sighed. “And I need to go deal with some issues the pirates are causing.”</p><p>Cody accepted that, and there was a sly look in his eyes. “You sure you don’t want to shave, first? Get that lolli out of your hair.”</p><p>Obi-Wan grimaced. “Right. I’ll do that first.” He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “I don’t suppose there’s a way we can get off planet again before I have to see Anakin, again? He always takes far too much delight in these sort of things.”</p><p>Cody just laughed. “I’ll go take care of the pirates, sir.”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Can't Fall into the Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Republic prisons, if you asked Luminara, left a great deal to be desired. It was, unfortunately, not an unfamiliar thought given she visited this place every week.</p>
<p>Shorty, a clone from the 158<sup>th</sup> who had decided to join Coruscant Security at the end of the war and who Luminara had grown close with in recent months, was filling her in on the situation.</p>
<p>“She’s still doing well, or at least it looks like she is—” Luminara found that less of a comfort then Shorty intended it to be, “—and we’ve been able to discourage some of the less kind inmates from trying to mess with her.” Shorty winced a little. “There is still a bit of a problem with those that hero-worship her for her actions against the Jedi, but…”</p>
<p>Luminara understood. They could step in when people were inciting violence or causing problems. But it was hardly against the rules to be ‘supportive’ of a fellow inmate.</p>
<p>“Is she enjoying that?” Luminara asked.</p>
<p>Shorty shrugged a little. “It’s hard to tell. She’s been real Jedi-like lately.” Shorty grimaced, clearly regretting the word choice. “I mean, serene and stuff?”</p>
<p>“Of course, I understand.” And she did, though she wasn’t sure if it gave her hope or despair. The rest of the short walk to the meeting room was taken in silence.</p>
<p>“If you need anything, just let one of the guards know,” Shorty told her as they reached their destination; Luminara gave him a small smile and a thank you, and then stepped into the small room.</p>
<p>Barriss was already there, standing on the other half of the glass that separated the room and Luminara took a moment to really look at her apprentice.</p>
<p>She was, as always, in that hideous orange jumpsuit all of the inmates wore, and her blue head covering looked as though it had seen better days. Luminara made a note to see if she could get another few in to her.</p>
<p>“Master Luminara.” Barriss’ voice was slightly clipped, just as it had been every time Luminara visited. “I see you’re still on Coruscant.”</p>
<p>Luminara stepped closer to the wall. “Yes, I am. How are you doing Barriss?”</p>
<p>Barriss gave an elegant little shrug, that echoed more dismissal than anything. “As well as one can be, I suppose.”</p>
<p>Luminara nodded at that. Something about these prison walls always seemed to steal her voice, or perhaps it was the sight of her padawan, forever on the other side of prison glass.</p>
<p>“I am glad to hear it.”</p>
<p>They stood in silence, each on the opposite side of the glass, for several long moments.</p>
<p>“I will not be able to visit next week.”</p>
<p>Barriss didn’t react other than a slight narrowing of her eyes, and Luminara wondered, not for the first time, if her visits meant anything to Barriss at all.</p>
<p>She had visited as often as she could, during the war. And now, with the war over, she’d managed to visit at least once a week.</p>
<p>“Off to subdue another planet?”</p>
<p>Luminara sighed, shaking her head. “No, Barriss. A relief mission with a few squads of the 41<sup>st</sup>.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Barriss paused, and her voice seemed to thaw for just a moment. “How are Marks and Jacket?”</p>
<p>“They’re doing well.” Luminara was quick to answer, it always gave her some small hope that despite Barriss’ <em>volatile</em> feelings about the Jedi and the war, that she’d never turned that vitriol against the men. “They miss you, of course.” Though even that was complicated, they’d felt just as betrayed as Luminara herself, at what Barriss had done.</p>
<p>But they were remarkable men, and they still cared for Barriss, even though they didn’t approve of what she’d done.</p>
<p>She hesitated over her next words, she’d gotten permission from the Council, and Obi-Wan had taken her request to a few Senators he was close with, who’d gotten it cleared with members of the judicial.</p>
<p>“That is actually something I’d like to talk to you about.”</p>
<p>Barriss tilted her head to indicate she was listening. “Yes?”</p>
<p>“The prison doesn’t do it often, but it does occasionally allow inmates to do relief work to shorten their time.” Luminara grimaced. “It would not take a substantially large amount of time from your sentence. But, should you desire, you would be allowed to join me and the men on our relief mission to Kashyyyk.”</p>
<p>Barriss froze. “Join you?”</p>
<p>Luminara watched her padawan for a few short moments, trying to determine the best way forward. “There is another relief mission as well, Master Kenobi is headed to Ryloth with some of the 212<sup>th</sup>, if that would be more desirable for you.” There were more missions than just hers and Obi-Wan’s, but Luminara trusted Obi-Wan’s ability to look past Barriss’ darkness, trusted his ability to gently love someone as they struggled back to the light.</p>
<p>Barriss still seemed frozen and so Luminara continued.</p>
<p>“There will be restrictions, of course. You’ll be under guard the entire time, and you’ll be required to use Force Restraints, to keep you from accessing the Force though you would still be able to feel it. You would also be required to wear a tracker, for reasons I’m—”</p>
<p>“Why,” Barriss interrupted, and Luminara noted with concern that Barriss was shaking a little. “After everything I did, <em>why </em>would you help me?”</p>
<p>“Relief work is one of the ways the Republic allows inmates—”</p>
<p>“<em>No</em>.” Barriss sounded truly distressed and Luminara wanted to flinch at the sound. Barriss, like her, was not prone to loud expressions of emotion. Though the fact that she’d blown up the temple hangars was most certainly an example of a loud expression of emotion. “I know getting permission for me to do relief work to shorten my time would have taken extreme effort. Why are you doing this? Why are you still visiting me? I know you think I’ve…” Barriss seemed to struggle with the words for a moment. “I know you think I’m Fallen. Why would you…”</p>
<p>Luminara looked down for the moment, gathering her thoughts. Finally she looked back at her padawan, and Force, she was still so very young. “You’re right. It took a great deal of effort, but I had the support of the Council in doing so.” She took a deep breath. “You have made choices, Barriss, and those choices have consequences.” She waved to the prison walls. “But a few choices, even terrible, cruel choices, do not comprise the entirety of who you are, not unless you let them.”</p>
<p>“But I am. I am Fallen, I’m—”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Luminara agreed and as always her heart ached at the thought. “You intentionally caused the death of dozens of innocent people, you attempted to destroy the life of a friend, you used the Force for selfish and cruel purposes.” Barriss flinched at the litany of crimes. It was a litany that Luminara sat with late into the night, wondering what she could have done to have saved Barriss. “But this does not need to be the end of your journey, Barriss.”</p>
<p>“But—” Barriss shook her head. “If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.” She gestured almost angrily. “I <em>started</em> down that path!”</p>
<p>Luminara pursed her lips. “That has not, and has <em>never</em> <em>been</em> permission to give up and to… to waste away in darkness.”</p>
<p>Barris opened her mouth, clearly shocked. “I’m not giving up. I’m not <em>wasting</em> away in darkness.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you? Or have you told yourself that you’ve done something terrible and thus you might as well continue on that path. That turning around is far too hard, and you’ll never erase the past, so why bother?” Barriss looked shocked, but Luminara continued on. “It’s true. You never escape the darkness at your heels,” Luminara said quietly, and she did her best to infuse all of her love and care into her words. “For as long as you live, even if you live a life purely devoted to helping people, even if you plant yourself firmly in the light. You will always know what you <em>did</em> do. And, unless you guard yourself carefully, it will be easy to rationalize your choices until what is dark does not seem so <em>truly</em> dark, but instead necessary.”</p>
<p>Barriss flinched, and Luminara imagined there had been a great deal of rationalization to get Barriss to the point where the deaths of innocents had seemed <em>justified</em>.</p>
<p>Luminara sighed. “I know that what you wanted was the opportunity to help people. You thought the war was taking us from that.” Luminara understood, to a point, but the Separatists would have destroyed so many if they’d been able. The Jedi had stepped forward, not just because the Republic had demanded it of them, though the Republic <em>had</em>, but because innocents would have suffered had they not. “You went about it the wrong way, but I hope you know that.”</p>
<p>Barriss looked down. She had yet to truly admit that what she’d done was wrong, at least not for Luminara’s ears. It would be a necessary step to healing, but Luminara would not push at that quite yet.</p>
<p>Luminara looked away for a moment, once again gathering herself. “I would give you the opportunity to take steps back into the light. It will be a hard journey, Barriss, if you choose it.”</p>
<p>“I’ll come with you,” Barriss said quietly, and she wasn’t meeting Luminara’s eyes. “You said I didn’t have to, or that if I did want to, I could go to Ryloth with Master Kenobi. But I’ll come with you.”</p>
<p>Luminara nodded, and despite herself she was a little surprised. She had been worried that this was too soon, that Barriss was not ready.</p>
<p>“Of course.” She took a deep breath. “Judicial will send someone to speak with you about what restrictions you can expect.”</p>
<p>Barriss nodded. “I need to—” she gestured to the door behind her. “I need to think.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Luminara paused. “Barriss, I don’t know if you have been, but if you haven’t, you should meditate.”</p>
<p>Barriss looked conflicted, which told Luminara that she hadn’t been.</p>
<p>“The Force <em>will</em> be with you, Barriss.”</p>
<p>Barriss didn’t answer for a long moment. “It’s dark, Master Luminara. I don’t…”</p>
<p>Luminara nodded. “If you’d like, I can come back tomorrow, we could meditate together.”</p>
<p>“I… I need to think about it.”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>Barriss did not run to the door, but her steps were clearly hurried.</p>
<p>Luminara watched as two guards met her at the door to escort her back to her prison room. She hoped she hadn’t pushed Barriss too far.</p>
<p>With a sigh she turned to her own exit.</p>
<p>-_-</p>
<p>She felt emotionally drained by the time she made it back to the Temple. Meetings with Barriss, even when they went well, often left her feeling that way, as she found herself going over everything that had been said, picking apart both hers and Barriss’ words as she tried to decide if she’d misstepped.</p>
<p>There was someone in her quarters when she finally returned to them. Or rather <em>two</em> someones.</p>
<p>“Stop! You can’t put that in there! It’ll ruin it!” Luminara recognized the voice instantly. Quinlan’s tones of fond outrage were <em>quite</em> recognizable. Which meant she was fairly certain who he was talking to, very few people were capable of raising <em>that</em> particular brand of outrage from Quinlan.</p>
<p>As she suspected, it was Obi-Wan who answered, his own voice fondly impatient. “I know what I’m doing, Quinlan. It’ll be utterly bland as it is. Now give it back.”</p>
<p>“Not <em>all</em> of us like having our tongues burned out of our heads, Obi-Wan.”</p>
<p>Luminara walked quietly as she moved towards her kitchen, and she could already feel some of her exhaustion lifting in a way that was unique to Obi-Wan and Quinlan and their specific brand of ridiculous.</p>
<p>Quinlan and Obi-Wan were standing in front of the stove, Quinlan holding a small jar of seasoning above his head, using his extra height to keep it out of Obi-Wan’s reach.</p>
<p>It was the sort of move Luminara would expect to see from a pair of padawans, so of course that was how the two of them were behaving.</p>
<p>She narrowed her eyes to try and read the label on the spice; it was Cardanium, and that explained the argument she was currently witnessing.</p>
<p>Quinlan <em>hated</em> the stuff while Obi-Wan would put it in everything if given the option.</p>
<p>“I hate to agree with Quinlan on anything.” Both Quinlan and Obi-Wan turned to look at her, though neither moved from their argumentative stance. “But you probably don’t need to add anymore Cardanium to…” she paused.</p>
<p>“Hoth Chocolate,” Obi-Wan supplied.</p>
<p>Luminara blinked at that. “Cardanium in Hoth Chocolate?” She had <em>not</em> expected that, though it was affirmation that Obi-Wan really would put the seasoning in <em>anything</em>.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan clearly knew what she was thinking, because he turned to her, arms folded in front of him in a way that often served to make him look serene, but that Luminara took to mean he was feeling petulant. “It’s <em>quite</em> good.”</p>
<p>Luminara gave the pot on the stove a dubious look, but she’d tried stranger things, and it was unlikely to give her food poisoning, which <em>had</em> happened due to some of Obi-Wan’s and Quinlan’s concoctions. “All right. We can try it.”</p>
<p>Obi-Wan turned to Quinlan looking <em>very</em> smug. Quinlan gave Luminara a betrayed pout, but handed the Cardanium to Obi-Wan and watched grumpily as Obi-Wan seasoned the Hoth Chocolate.</p>
<p>Luminara left them to finish their concoction and collapsed onto her sofa.</p>
<p>A few minutes later Obi-Wan and Quinlan joined her, Obi-Wan setting her cup on the table in front of them. They both took a moment to settle, still bantering back and forth in a way that Luminara found comforting.</p>
<p>In the end, they were both seated almost exactly two inches away on either side of her.</p>
<p>She loved them a little for that.</p>
<p>Both Quinlan and Obi-Wan took comfort from touch. Quinlan in that obvious way where he’d ask for it, Obi-Wan in that quiet way where he almost pined for it; but for both of them, touch was a comfort and Luminara would always be willing to provide that for them when needed.</p>
<p>But they never tried to push their own methods of comfort on her. Understanding that to her, <em>this right here</em>, where they could be close but not touch, was what <em>she</em> needed.</p>
<p>Luminara reached forward and took her cup of hoth chocolate, sniffing a little. It was sweet, but she could already feel a slight burn in her nasal cavities from the scent alone. A little dubious, she took a sip, not sure what she expected.</p>
<p>She frowned a little, as the mix of sweet and sharp arrested her senses and coated her tongue.</p>
<p>Quinlan practically crowed. “Ha, I told you, no—”</p>
<p>“It’s good,” Luminara interrupted. She could <em>feel</em> Obi-Wan’s smugness. “<em>Weird</em>, but good.”</p>
<p>“I’m friends with two lunatics,” Quinlan grumbled, but took a sip of his own hoth chocolate. “Two weirdos.”</p>
<p>He didn’t, Luminara noted, complain about the taste, meaning that he’d discovered that he <em>liked</em> it and absolutely refused to admit it.</p>
<p>They sat there, quiet except for a few hums of appreciation as they drank their hoth chocolate.</p>
<p>It wasn’t unusual for someone to be here, when she got back from her time with Barriss. Last week it had been Bant and Obi-Wan and they’d spent the afternoon in the room of a thousand fountains. The week before it’d been Depa.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan was here more than the others, but that was because, oddly enough, he’d been in the temple more than many of her other friends, since the Council had put him on enforced leave when he’d fainted from exhaustion two days after the last signature had been put on the peace treaty. But nearly all of her friends took a turn.</p>
<p>When their hoth chocolate was half gone, Quinlan was, rather predictably, the one to finally break the silence. “How did it go?”</p>
<p>Luminara pondered the question for a moment. “It went well, I think. She said she’d like to join me on Kashyyyk.”</p>
<p>Quinlan and Obi-Wan both nodded at that. “That’s good.”</p>
<p>Luminara hoped it was. “I worry about her. She paraphrased Yoda at me.”</p>
<p>Quinlan let out an aggravated huff. “The, ‘…dominate your destiny’ quote?”</p>
<p>“That’s the one.”</p>
<p>Quinlan huffed again.</p>
<p>“I think Yoda regrets that adage more than any of his others.” Obi-Wan said, and he was giving Quinlan a concerned look. “Not that he doesn’t <em>believe</em> it, but it does seem to cause confusion.”</p>
<p>“He shouldn’t regret it.” Quinlan was frowning down at his chocolate, Luminara could see that his knuckles were white with how tightly he was holding his cup. “It’s not <em>wrong</em>. And we should all be willing to <em>listen</em> to it, to <em>think</em> about it. To understand what it <em>means.</em>”</p>
<p>Neither Luminara or Obi-Wan would argue with Quinlan on that. “No, it’s not, and yes we should,” Luminara agreed. “She said that she’s not meditating because it’s still <em>dark</em>.”</p>
<p>Quinlan shrugged a little. “Yeah, well, it will be. You don’t just <em>fall</em> into the Light again. You’ve got to fight to get back there.”</p>
<p>Luminara both understood and didn’t. She’d brushed against the dark side before. She didn’t know that there was any Jedi that <em>hadn’t</em>. But at the same time, she’d never truly dipped into it. She didn’t know what it meant to have to truly fight to find the light, even if she had, at times, struggled.</p>
<p>There was still a world of difference between the struggles she’d faced and the fight that Barriss had in front of her.</p>
<p>“I could talk to her, if you’d like,” Quinlan offered, and for all that his voice was a little stilted, Luminara could sense his utter sincerity.</p>
<p>And Luminara <em>loved</em> her friend.</p>
<p>She’d known Quinlan since they’d both been children and yet he’d never been willing to talk to her about his struggles. She respected that. It was <em>his</em> fight, and he needed to fight it his way. She would support and help him however she could, and in whatever ways he was willing to let her.</p>
<p>But as far as Luminara knew there were four people with whom Quinlan had truly talked about his own struggles with the darkness. Mace, Aayla, Obi-Wan, and the soul healer he met with. Mace, because of his own experience with the struggle against the dark. Aayla because she was his former padawan, though Luminara expected that, for all Quinlan loved her, he’d told her the least of the four. Obi-Wan, because… well, it was Obi-Wan, and everyone had given up understanding the ‘Obi-Wan and Quinlan’ relationship back when they were all still teenagers.</p>
<p>And yet, here he was, offering to talk to Barriss. Because he understood. Because he cared. Because, as much as it might hurt him to do it, he thought that Barriss was worth it.</p>
<p>“Maybe after Kashyyyk,” Luminara suggested. She didn’t say anything else about the offer, and Quinlan seemed grateful for it.</p>
<p>From the corner of her eye, she could see Obi-Wan giving Quinlan another concerned look, but after a moment he relaxed, clearly deciding that everything was alright.</p>
<p>“Ahsoka has also been talking about perhaps going to see Barriss. But she wasn’t sure how that would be taken.”</p>
<p>Luminara looked up, surprised. “Did she?”</p>
<p>Obi-Wan nodded. “I suspect much of it is for her <em>own</em> healing process. But the two of us spoke about it just last night, and while she doesn’t know how involved she’d ever want to be, she seemed pleased with the thought that Barriss might have the opportunity to do relief work.”</p>
<p>“Skywalker still being—”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Obi-Wan interrupted Quinlan before he could finish whatever he’d been about to say. “Anakin is still very much displeased with the thought that Ahsoka might be willing to forgive Barriss what she did, and told Ahsoka that she was absolutely not allowed.” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes a little. “I won’t repeat what Ahsoka said, but needless to say, she was quite firm that she was allowed to make her own decisions.”</p>
<p>Luminara wasn’t entirely surprised by Skywalker’s opinion. But she personally agreed that it was entirely Ahsoka’s decision.</p>
<p>“I think that could be good for the both of them.” Luminara looked down. “If Ahsoka ever wants to talk. I know that she probably thinks very poorly of me, but I’d be willing to listen.”</p>
<p>“Ahsoka doesn’t blame you for Barriss’ choices.”</p>
<p>Luminara shrugged. Anakin Skywalker certainly had, and had expressed it <em>most</em> vehemently, though Luminara wasn’t about to tell Obi-Wan as much.</p>
<p>“Still, the offer stands.”</p>
<p>“I will let her know.”</p>
<p>They went back to drinking their hoth chocolate. “Thank you for being here.”</p>
<p>Neither Quinlan or Obi-Wan answered, but in the Force they brushed against her, the edges of their presence tangling with hers.</p>
<p>She wasn’t alone.</p>
<p>Neither was Barriss.</p>
<p>And no matter what happened, they’d make it.</p>
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